no games
Posted on May 22nd, 2007
by 
source-within
source-within
Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
Send a smile and show you care....
Give a little bit of your love to me
Give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
There's so much that we need to share
Send a smile and show you care....
some of my friends have been trying to coach me in how to get a mate. i greatly appreciate their desire to help me -- but, invariably, their advice centers on the belief that getting a mate is a "game". i don't like that, it doesn't feel right to me. i feel that getting a mate is a very sacred thing, and that it should also be a very natural thing. try as i have, i really cannot accept it as a game, requiring strategy and calculation and deliberate intrigue.
when i was a child, i had a recurring dream -- both waking and sleeping -- of being with my perfect mate. we were inseparable, we did everything together, we were like one being; and we fit together perfectly naturally. we were totally genuine and transparent with each other. the notion of manipulating our partnership with any kind of a game, never even occurred to us -- just as we never thought of trying to make water flow uphill, or make the sun move backward in the sky. everything was natural and perfect between us.
naturally, that's the kind of relationship i've been looking for, ever since. i've been looking earnestly for 30+ years. i've been offering my heart, over and over -- putting it up on the chopping-block, saying openly, "i love you" -- and having it handed back to me with big pieces chopped out of it. i've been told, many times, that's not the way to play the "game" of love! -- and yet i've persisted in doing it my way, because i've never been able to accept love as being a "game", i've never been able to be other than genuine about my love.
i've been rejected for being "too skinny"; for being "too nice", "too easy" (oh, yeah, those are the BIG ones!); for not having a nice enough home, in the right place; for choosing not to have a car; for not having enough money. here's an exact quote, from one who rejected me (after telling me, for months, that i was the best thing that had ever happened to her, and promising to spend the rest of her life with me): "it's all about money! everything is money!!" (she was lamenting this "fact" -- offering it as the "reason" she could not spend the rest of her life with me, after all -- she was lamenting it, but she was not willing to take a stand against it, to make her life about something more than money!)
so, lately, my friends have been telling me how to play the "game"; how you've got to play hard-to-get; how you've got to push the beloved away, got to run the other direction, got to make her chase you, got to make her wonder how you really feel about her; make her afraid that you DON'T love her, that you couldn't care less about her; make her feel she has to WORK to get your love! telling someone straight-out that you love them and want to be with them is romantic suicide; it makes you "too easy"; women want someone who is a CHALLENGE, someone who irritates them a little, someone who needs "fixing" (i've been told this by women themselves!).
and here's the topper: a guy who is "nice" too much of the time, considerate, cooperative, gentle, peaceful, pleasing -- he's the guy who gets rejected before he even gets out of the starting-gate. no, he's not even allowed to get INTO the starting-gate!! automatic reject! and the reason is: women believe that such a "nice" guy will be boring in bed! scout's honor, this was told to me by a woman who is a dear friend! where do women learn such things?? (and, of course, they spend their lives automatically rejecting such guys, so they never have a chance to find out the truth of us!)
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Take his hand, you'll be surprised....
I'll give a little bit of my love to you
So give a little bit
Give a little bit of your time to me
See the man with the lonely eyes
Take his hand, you'll be surprised....
my dear mother herself once told me that i would never have a woman until i had the money to "support" (which meant "buy") one! this was such a disgusting idea, i absolutely could not face it. for years i denied that such a thing was even a possibility! but i saw it in action, and i finally had to accept it. just lately, i've seen it happen with someone very close to me -- and i feel that the final-allowable piece of my heart has now been cut out. i can't bear to put my heart on the chopping-block ever again; if one more piece gets chopped off, it will be the end of me. and i can't bear to see one more woman sell herself to the highest bidder, and call it "love".
so -- i'm making my stand. i'm going to stand here, centered in myself, being nothing but myself, not playing the "game" of love. i'm going to be as natural, as true-to-Self, as genuine, as transparent, as i can be -- come what may. i'm going to give my love, freely and totally, to anyone i choose -- and people are just going to have to deal with it! if that's too real for them, and if they run away, i'll be sorry to lose their company -- but that's just the way it will have to be.
it's time for those old games to end. the New World is being born, right now, right here, under our feet -- and it's a world of honesty and authenticity, a world of transparency; what-you-see-is-what-you-get; the end of secrecy and manipulation and game-playing; time to be totally real and simply natural. this New World will not tolerate the old games.
oh, yeah, the times they are a-changin'...!
Give a little bit
Give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home....
Give a little bit of your love to me
I'll give a little bit
I'll give a little bit of my love for you
Now's the time that we need to share
So find yourself, we're on our way back home....
Access: Public
get real
July 2008 
I am sorry this has happened to you.
I read your blog with interest. I read the preceding entry and thought you had found the perfect love. It seems that is not the case. What happened between blogs would be a question I turned over in my mind. How could April have been so kind and May so cruel.
I read between the lines. The cryptic messages. The subtle nuances. I love that word 'Nuances' had it once on a spelling test when I was 6:)
Sometimes words fossilized become self fulfilling. Not have a lot of money …not having a car …..not having thee perfect abode as seen through someone else's eyes is all to do with them and nothing at all to do wih you. But you know that.
You seem like a lovely human with whom many a woman would find a great partmership in and with. What I would question is why you might feel attracted…why you would draw in someone with whom there is so little substance …..where a car, money and housing are more important than character and love. It sounds like a game show. “Will you take what is behind curtain No 1 or 2 or just take the guy without the car or home or money?”
What lesson have you learned from this…Is it saying to you that your mother was/is right (mums are always right:) and you have to change to bring about the happiness in Love you seek. If you did sell out your beliefs and make lots of money the type of person who would then be drawn to you would surely be based on your abilities to make money and support them in a beauiful lifestyle. Is this what you want? I think we want to be loved for the wonderful beings we are. No be relegated to pimp daddy and whore.
There are women out there who don't need a car or all the trappings of wealth but these women may not seem attractive to you.
It is a dilemma.
On a site like this where people espouse spirituality it will be interesting to see if many women flock to you as the superficialities of Life are probably not a consideration when one truly lives a life of spirituality. Hmmmmm
Please keep us updated. Your blog entry was so gripping and so heart felt that I was compelled to write to say I never understood the games and never taught my children to be anything other than honest and one day my daughter (now 20) then 16 was asked by her friend to call a guy that she (my daughter) was friends with but whom her girlfriend 'fancied' handing the phone to my daughter she said “You aren't going to be just yourself…are you?” I think it says a lot.
thanks very much, amw, for your response…!
you wrote:
“Sometimes words fossilized become self fulfilling. Not have a lot of money …not having a car …..not having thee perfect abode as seen through someone else's eyes is all to do with them and nothing at all to do wih you. But you know that.”
#### yes, i do … but then, when someone rejects me because of those feelings (in them), it DOES have something to do with me; it has a great effect on me.
you wrote:
“You seem like a lovely human with whom many a woman would find a great partmership in and with. What I would question is why you might feel attracted…why you would draw in someone with whom there is so little substance …..where a car, money and housing are more important than character and love. ”
#### that's a very good question! it has seemed to me that almost all women were this way – that any who were not, were extremely rare exceptions! – but you may be right; maybe something about me has just been attracting the wrong ones!
i must admit, in my search for a mate, the women i've been looking at have all been physically attractive to me – so i myself do have a “physical” filter operating…! i have always felt that one's physical body is an accurate materialization of one's spiritual condition… and yet, even as i write these words, i'm asking myself: “if that's true, how can it be that some people who are physically quite beautiful have some very ugly spiritual aspects??” maybe these things are more complicated than i had realized! and, really, one's house, car, clothing, etc., are just extensions of one's physical body; so they, too, are just reflections of aspects of our spirit…!
i think it just depends on what each of us feels is important. i feel the physical body of my mate is important (because, beyond the issue of its mere healthiness, i plan to spend a lot of time looking at it and touching it! okay, then, i have to accept, as valid, any complaint about me being too skinny!! : ^ ) i know the issues of house, car, clothing, etc., are much less important to me than to most people – in fact, the very idea of owning things, and of having more money than i need at the moment – i truly feel such things as a BURDEN; i feel trapped and suffocated by them! however, i know that most people don't feel that way at all, that most people LOVE to own these things; therefore, i really shouldn't be surprised when i'm rejected for not owning them….
in the final analysis, of course, things just are what they are. we're attracted to some people and not to others – and for countless reasons, many of which we are not even conscious of; and many of which derive from other lifetimes than the current one! and some of us (like me) just THINK way too much about all this!!
you wrote:
“What lesson have you learned from this…Is it saying to you that your mother was/is right (mums are always right:) and you have to change to bring about the happiness in Love you seek. If you did sell out your beliefs and make lots of money the type of person who would then be drawn to you would surely be based on your abilities to make money and support them in a beauiful lifestyle. Is this what you want? I think we want to be loved for the wonderful beings we are. No be relegated to pimp daddy and whore.”
#### absolutely!! that's why my mother's pronouncement was so completely unacceptable to me! i could never embark on the goal of making money – not for the money itself, and not as a means of getting a mate. and it is so unbearably sad to think that such buying and selling does occur (and, how OFTEN it occurs!)….
you wrote:
“There are women out there who don't need a car or all the trappings of wealth but these women may not seem attractive to you.
It is a dilemma.
On a site like this where people espouse spirituality it will be interesting to see if many women flock to you as the superficialities of Life are probably not a consideration when one truly lives a life of spirituality. Hmmmmm”
#### hmmmm, indeed!! i must say, the idea of women flocking to ME … sends my laugh-meter clear out of calibration!! what a fantastic picture that would be! : ^ ) really, i'm such a minimalist, i only need one of them….
you wrote:
“Please keep us updated. Your blog entry was so gripping and so heart felt that I was compelled to write to say I never understood the games and never taught my children to be anything other than honest …”
#### bless you forever, for that!!! so, i'm not alone, after all!
you wrote:
“… and one day my daughter (now 20) then 16 was asked by her friend to call a guy that she (my daughter) was friends with but whom her girlfriend 'fancied' handing the phone to my daughter she said “You aren't going to be just yourself…are you?” I think it says a lot.”
#### indeed! and i can't help wondering, who did she want your daughter to be, other than herself??
one final thing: you asked what lesson i had learned from all this. the really deep lesson i've been seeing is that all my rejections have come from my own application of personal will. this goes clear to my fundamental lesson in this lifetime, which is: to stop using my personal will (which has been developed to the utmost in previous lifetimes!), to stop trying to get anything for myself … and merely to accept and love and be happy with whatever Life brings me…! such a totally simple way to live – and soooooo difficult for someone like me, who is accustomed to preferring one thing over another, and to applying personal will to get whatever is preferred…!
in other words … as soon as i move even a molecule in the direction of getting a mate for myself, the whole thing is already doomed to fail (anyone reading this, whose lunar north node is in Aquarius, knows what i'm talking about!). apparently, my contract for this lifetime requires that, if i'm to have a mate, she has to find me and choose me (and, so far, even when that's been done, i've managed to mess things up, at a later time, by applying my will)….
I expect if a person were to hang out at the 'Young Farmers Association' with hopes of meeting an accountant, there may be a problem:)
When one meets a person are there key words that would allow for a certain insightfulness to 'weed' out those who would not fit what one is looking for?
You say ” ….know that most people don't feel that way at all, that most people LOVE to own these things; therefore, i really shouldn't be surprised when i'm rejected for not owning them…. ”
Have you ever felt you have chosen your particular lifestyle so you, in fact do not become attached or, so you will be rejected? In my psych 101 class I remember revisiting trauma and rejection and how important it is in its assimilation, in its repetition.
Seriously I am not sure it is the lack of car or your being slender, as those things would be apparent very quickly I am sure uless you keep the facts hidden until you are deep into a relationship or wear a 'fat' suit that on a first date it would be known that you were carless and slender and so anyone who wasn't interested in the 'you' that is 'you' would not agree to a second date with you.
It seems to not be a problem the second date. Right? At what point does the lack of car bother the person involved. I know entire families who don't drive at all but who bike everywhere.
Recap:
The problem is not with how you look, as no one is going to go out with you in the first place if they don't find you attractive.
The problem is not the bike as that would be known at the onset.
The problem is not the house as that too would be known from the beginning (unless they only see the house way into the relationship.)
The problem sounds more like a lack of maturity on their parts on seeing you and your lifestyle as a vacation from their own, as a novelty, like camping but then 'let's-get-back-to-all-modern-conveniences mentality'…. after a few weeks.
Maybe just maybe?
You say ” apparently, my contract for this lifetime requires that, if i'm to have a mate, she has to find me and choose me (and, so far, even when that's been done, i've managed to mess things up, at a later time, by applying my will)…. “
You are going in the right direction in being out there. In allowing for her to find you……..Source Within, I wish you the best of luck.
Let the flocking begin:)
Apologies for taking up so much of your space but, I am really 'terriibly' interested in this journey called Life. I find each person's actions and reactions fascinating. I find I also get to reflect on my own achievements and failings and rejections in love through reading what you write. So, thank you for that.
As I hold the light to your words, I, in turn hold the light to my own self.
I read through your other blogs (well a few) I wanted to say a word or two on the subject of cyber introductions.
I wanted to say whilst writing to a person online it is very difficult to really bring the physicality to life….until one (or two meet)
Lifestyles and professions and diets and modes of transport and little places we call 'home' without the hindrances of modernity (if that's a word) can seem idyllic (and often are) The sound of sucking insects and bugggy-eyed, jumping, little green guys, can paint a picture of a Garden of Eden yet, can , close up and in person be very different.
If one continues to meet online people offline how to make the online be as real as possible. Through friend's experiences, I do know reality can be jarring and jagged around the edges.
Anyway ….just wanted to add that.
Many people have positive experiences but for others the meetings do not bode well.
dear amw —-
aloha again! i'll respond to your latest comments….
you wrote:
You say “…know that most people don't feel that way at all, that most people LOVE to own these things; therefore, i really shouldn't be surprised when i'm rejected for not owning them…”
Have you ever felt you have chosen your particular lifestyle so you, in fact do not become attached or, so you will be rejected? In my psych 101 class I remember revisiting trauma and rejection and how important it is in its assimilation, in its repetition.
#### i'm VERY sure i have not chosen my lifestyle because of a desire to be rejected! as i mentioned before, i had recurring (nearly continuous, actually) dreams (both sleeping and waking) throughout my childhood, of myself with my perfect mate…. i have no desire to be rejected, only the desire to find a fitting mate, someone who is on the same wavelength…!
you wrote:
Seriously I am not sure it is the lack of car or your being slender, as those things would be apparent very quickly I am sure uless you keep the facts hidden until you are deep into a relationship or wear a 'fat' suit that on a first date it would be known that you were carless and slender and so anyone who wasn't interested in the 'you' that is 'you' would not agree to a second date with you.
#### thanks for giving me a chuckle, envisioning myself in a 'fat' suit!! : ^ ) well, first of all, the very concept of 'dating' has always been repellent to me (clear back in childhood, when i first heard of it!) – so, i don't 'date' people in the first place. if i'm attracted to someone, and if they are attracted to me at all, we just start spending time together, and things develop naturally from there. but very few women are attracted to me in the first place, probably because of my physique. i simply don't have the kind of physical presence that the macho guys (to whom they ARE attracted) have…. so, to 90% of women, i'm effectively invisible, from the very beginning…. and yes, the other 10% become aware very quickly that i am carless – which clears out most of them. whoever is left at that point, most of those are removed by the revelation that, beyond having no car, i also choose to have NO TELEVISION!!! if anyone is left after that, and if my diet (of whole grains and veggies) doesn't scare them away, then the fact that i'm “too nice” and “too easy” does…!
you wrote:
At what point does the lack of car bother the person involved. I know entire families who don't drive at all but who bike everywhere.
#### are you kidding?? what planet are you talking about?? surely nowhere in the U.S. of A.!! nowhere i've ever been, at least! ahhh, but you're on the East Coast, aren't you? yes, i've heard that people are not so attached-at-birth to an automobile there…. but, let me tell you, west of the Rockies, people are born with a set of car keys in hand!
you wrote:
Recap:
The problem is not with how you look, as no one is going to go out with you in the first place if they don't find you attractive.
#### BINGO – yes, that is 90% of the problem….
you wrote:
The problem is not the bike as that would be known at the onset.
#### yes, it is known – and yes, it is also the problem….
you wrote:
The problem is not the house as that too would be known from the beginning (unless they only see the house way into the relationship.)
#### well, the house is only a problem for some of them; some actually like it!
you wrote:
You say ” apparently, my contract for this lifetime requires that, if i'm to have a mate, she has to find me and choose me (and, so far, even when that's been done, i've managed to mess things up, at a later time, by applying my will)…. ”
You are going in the right direction in being out there. In allowing for her to find you……..Source Within, I wish you the best of luck.
Let the flocking begin:)
#### more chuckles here!! : ^ ) i haven't heard a peep, or the rustling of a single feather, from anyone but you….
you wrote:
Apologies for taking up so much of your space but, I am really 'terriibly' interested in this journey called Life. I find each person's actions and reactions fascinating. I find I also get to reflect on my own achievements and failings and rejections in love through reading what you write. So, thank you for that.
As I hold the light to your words, I, in turn hold the light to my own self.
#### i'm delighted that my example can be of some use to someone else…!
Yes, I thank you for sharing your blog and yes indeed I am learning from that reading.
When I read the blog 'What's Love Got To Do ” you wrote about a friend who had come to visit::
“……..cockroaches and (worst of all) mosquitoes (whose greatest pleasure is dining on the blood of newcomers!), and a mouse named Rudy! to come so far, to endure all that, and to re-kindle the spark of life and love in me - a spark that was nearly gone, after an emotional devastation 8 months ago….”
It seemed like a Love relationship.
I also think that people can compromise. I am not sure spirituality comes in the perfect body because if the divine love is in each one of us and we and they are reflectons of that love then it exists in the most beautiful and in the '''ugliest '''of beings. I think when someone approaches me and is not what I consider beautiful I try to feel how they must feel or feel as if that person were my own child, how would I want another to treat them. To reach out to them.
Granted we all have ideas of what is attractive to us. But surely if even Stephen Hawking can find a love wheelchair bound and almost isolated except for care givers then why not the rest of the world? Why not you?
I didn't mean that you courted rejection but that rejection can be a self fulling prophecy.
There are things you can do to build up your physique, to improve on a good basic foundation you have been blessed with. There are compromises to be made that enable one to have the more satisfactory relationship too.
For example if you feel your body type is not attractive to many women then you can add some bulk to it by doing some exercises or weight lifting. You can reshape the look if you want it badly enough.
I would love to be a full time wildlife photographer and when I did that I could not support myself so in the interim I began a business and was able to support myself and my two children and my ex husband and it evolved into something that helped all of us and allows for me to go to exotic places to shoot and so a happy compromise.
Maybe a car wouldn't be a total sell out and you could still live a lifestyle that wasn't a betrayal to the self…yet attracted the type of person whom you loved. Meaning would it be too much of a sacrifice in the search for love to buy a eco-friendly car and build muscle…..
You have so much going for you. Take a chance.
Yes! great and thanks for the invite to the wedding when it happens….But I promise I will book into a hotel as it seems like you have had your fill of freeloaders. (though I know you don't see people in that light) but tell me honestly if a woman/man is writing to a man/woman and it has a hint or two of intimacy then how does it happen that another person even enters the picture unless he/she is there at the same time as he/she is writing the emails. That's plain unfair and really crusty if you don't mind my saying so
.
When a person writes to one or many and then that something special happens and you find (both of you) looking out for the name in your email box and the telephone ringing and it is their voice you want to hear and you arrange to open your home then just out of decency and respect and basic good manners it would be nice to know at THAT moment (the same moment that they obviously know) that you were just one of the contenders NOT thee contender.
You are way too nice. Way ,way, way too nice. Friends do not, do not, do not mislead friends Friends do not, do not, do not have a change of heart. Friends do not, do not, do not take up time and space with no real intent. Users do. Freeloaders do. Real intent rules out other contenders.
Have we become a society of disposability? Are people so used to mass marketing of use and throw? Are we all like wipes…one swipe and it is flushed. I hope not? Have we exended our universal disposable mentality to humans also? Looks like it.
I do not know your friend/s but I can tell you that no friend is going to take up your time and give an illusion of 'love' knowing You are feeling something deeper and lead you on.
I admire your generousity of spirit.
I thank you for reading my comments.
aloha, amw —–
thanks again….. you make some very good points!!
as you correctly assumed, i would not think of someone as a freeloader, whom i had invited to stay with me….
and, about someone misleading me with an illusion of love, knowing that i'm feeling something deeper …… hmmm, you're right, i cannot find a worthwhile excuse for that….! the best i can do is to accept that it is prevalent behavior nowadays…. i believe it comes under the heading of “playing the field” : ^ )….. (again, going back to the idea that love is a game – an idea that you and i and a few others just never subscribed to!)
so … if i can't find a worthwhile excuse for it, my only option is just to accept it (as reality) and to forgive it…. because, here's the thing: for me, it really is a case of love – and, once my heart decides to love someone, it can never un-love them, come what may…..
wowwwwww!!! i got an email from another zaadster, a friend who will in fact be coming to visit me later this summer – a man named Phillip, who has also had the dreaded “too nice” label applied to him, and who doesn't understand it anymore than i do…. i asked his permission to post, here, most of his email to me (with my responses interspersed), and he generously said Yes…. so, here it is:
(Phillip)
I have to tell you that I have so often been criticised as being 'far too nice' and that i need to play 'hard to get' to 'entice' females… well, this is SO impossible for me… I cannot be anybody other than who i am.
(me)
#### amen!!! that's me, too!!
(Phillip)
But evidently this is a real turn off for many women…..
(me)
#### maybe they are scared of authenticity, in general; so used to living in a fantasy, make-believe world of games, where nothing is really what it appears to be…..
(added since the email)
look at the whole world of women's fashion and make-up: it's all based on illusion, on creating the appearance of something that doesn't really exist!! and, nowadays, even women's bodies are becoming largely artificial !! i was very shocked and disgusted to hear, just recently, that the conventional high-school graduation gift for girls in parts of California now is … a car and a set of breast implants!!!! can we really be doing that to such young girls??? why can't we just let them be REAL???
and, of course, if we REALLY want big-time fantasy and game-playing, there's the whole world of “romance” novels and television “soap operas” – to which many, many women are totally addicted!!! how could we expect them to be real after marinating themselves in THAT stuff???
(Phillip)
I keep getting advice like ' don't tell her your true feelings' and 'keep her guessing'… well….this is all so foreign to me…
(me)
#### i know – it makes NO sense!! (unless, of course, we have all agreed beforehand to play by those goofy rules — but you and i never agreed to that!!)
(Phillip)
my most recent experience was of meeting a lovely lovely woman …. and almost immediately I began giving her little bits and pieces like bath oils or flowers… and within a week or so she told me I was paying her far too much attention and that she was feeling claustrophobic….and much preferred it if I had kept her guessing !!!!!??? what ARE women like !?!? a real paradox indeed. I have been divorced for 3 years now. I had been married for 30… frightening really… I ended the marriage because we had grown so much apart.. I had love and found love for so many years but during the final 10 things just didn't feel right and I couldn't grow the way my inner being was telling me to grow… i lived for the last 10 years of our marriage in a sort of semi lie.. to myself… not the best place to be at all… for her or myself….
(me)
#### UGGHHH!!!! i'm soooooo sorry for that!!!
(Phillip)
….anyway, after we separated, I had a very emotional whirlwind of a relationship with a dutch artist for 6 months which nearly finished me off ( ! )
(me)
#### an emotional roller-coaster??
(Phillip)
and since then I've been very very happily single… several friends but nothing deeper……I think we may have some very interesting stories and observations to exchange when we meet…. ! there seeem to be many synchronicities in our personal relationship experiences….
(me)
#### indeed – and i'm so glad you're telling me this! it's so nice to know i'm not the only one who has been given the dreaded “too nice” label : ^ ) — and that it makes no more sense to you than it does to me….!
(Phillip)
all i know is that I cannot conceal my true feelings when I meet someone I really like……I tell them so… and I show them so……
(me)
#### yes!! it does seem the natural thing to do!!! why would anyone do anything else (except, again, if everyone had agreed to play by these other, nonsensical, rules – but WHY???)
(Phillip)
there must be women out there who like this approach ?!?! maybe women are too often deceived by men who DO keep them guessing and give out conflicting signals…'playing' with emotions….the ' game' as you mentioned in your blog…..so when a male comes along who is genuinely GENUINE, they don't actually believe their sincerity ?!…
(me)
#### that could very well be…..! i think, at least in some cases, it also has a lot to do with the degree of sincerity in the woman. it seems to me, anyone (man or woman) into game-playing is not a very sincere person in the first place….
here's one example i can give you, from my life, just about one year ago: i had met a woman i was sure was my perfect mate, the one i had been waiting for all my life; there were just WAY too many bonds and parallels and synchronicities and confirmations between us, for it to be any other way….! we were in love with each other very quickly, and everything was proceeding very fast, and the whole universe was behind us, confirming repeatedly that we were made for each other, on the right track together, etc…. the only thing was, she kept getting scared and wanting to bail out!! she couldn't believe that her dreams and prayers were actually coming so true — it scared her, she felt it was TOO GOOD to be true … so she got afraid that it wouldn't work … and her fear brought that to reality!!!
she was so afraid that i would leave her; she asked me, multiple times, to promise that i would never leave her. and i did promise her, without the slightest hesitation, because i had no doubt in the world that she was exactly the one for me…. but i couldn't help wondering: “why does she keep asking me to promise this? doesn't she believe me??” then, the way it ended was that her fears got the best of her, and SHE left ME….! then it made sense to me, why she had kept demanding assurance that i would not leave her — she didn't trust my promises, because she didn't trust her own promises not to leave me!!!
(Phillip)
or is it that maybe women like the veiled.. the unknowm… the uncertain… as that retains something like ' magic'… as if by knowing a person's true feelings diminishes its potency..
(me)
#### i think there is something in that…. i've been told by women that they definitely do like secrets, and mysteries, the unknown…. and that they want men to be a little difficult, a little irritating, a “challenge”, or something that needs “fixing”….! i don't understand that…. i like the approach, “if it ain't broke, don't fix it” – just be HAPPY it ain't broke, just enjoy it the way it is….! they seem to like to create drama and intrigue, where they are not needed…..
: ^ )
(Phillip)
I have no idea….women are a strange breed…..but ooooooooooooh so nice !!
(me)
#### i know —- attracting us like moths to flames…..!!